Rest day.
"I do not believe in a fate that falls on men however they act, but I do believe in a fate that falls on men unless they act."
- G.K.Chesterton
Saturday's jump rope clinic with Molly Metz was AWESOME!! Everyone, from the best jump ropers in the gym to the most challanged jumpers took away new skills. And it was a ton of fun. Keep your eye on our upcoming events page, as we will be doing another one in the near future.
And the next jump rope clinic will be open to non-FRCF athletes.
Next up we have Big Jon's first installment of his write-up from the Master's Championships which took place two weeks ago. Many of you know Jon's athletic background but for those of you that don't, Jon has one of the most impressive athletic resumes in the greater CrossFit community. Jon was a 5 year member of the US Rowing Team, competing in the men's eight. Internationally, he has gold medals from the Pan Ams and the Goodwill Games, as well as a bronze medal from the 1986 World Championships. He is also a two time NCAA National Champion.
So he brings a unique perspective to CrossFit and he loves to write. He has written the write-ups for the past two year's FRCF Events. But his writings have always been from a correspondent's point of view.
This was Jon's first CrossFit event as a competitor. I have a feeling it might not be his last.
Enjoy.
The Inaugural 2011 FRCF Master's Championships
Written by Jon Kissick
Act One Scene 1
Setting:
Complimentary breakfast lounge Residence Inn, Torrance, CA (Front Range CrossFit’s base camp for the LA Games - July 28th, 2011).
Players:
Pete Mentz - FRCF gymnastics coach
Jenn Huyler - Long standing FRCF sweetheart and massage therapist extraordinaire
Jon Kissick - FRCF rowing coach
Jenn: "Pete, are you going to compete in the Masters Championships this fall?"
Four things you need to know about Coach Pete. 1 - whenever a beautiful woman asks Pete a question or a favor the easy odds are that Coach is thinking yes before the question is even finished. 2 - Coach thinks all women are beautiful. 3 - Coach finished last in every workout that involved lifting weights for his age group in this year’s CrossFit Open Sectionals. We're talking last, with distinction on some workouts. 4 - Coach Pete Mentz may be the badest CrossFit gymnastics coach in the land and the only human who can out muscle up Dozer.
Pete: "Oh Jenn, definitely. I'm all over that masters games stuff. I'm working on my diet, cutting down time in the tanning bed, you know getting focused…
Coach turns to me and my breakfast stuffing face...
"Yo what do say big guy, you gonna do this Masters thing?"
Me: "Have you guys tried this bacon?"
…………………………………………………………………………………..
And why not? Why not indeed? Isn’t that one of the characteristics of this whole CrossFit thing? Constant invitations to try something you never thought you'd do. Why do a muscle up? a box jump? a back squat? a clean & jerk? Why do any of these strange functional movements? We all know the why’s now, but at some point many of us didn’t. And for many of our friends these actions still seem like strange monkey behavior. But I think the verdict on this strange science is in, if you want to maintain a high level of fitness in as little time as possible, CrossFit is your answer. So why not?
Another defining characteristic of the CrossFit community, as far as I can tell, is the high caliber of the people involved. So If Jenn Huyler wants me to move furniture on any incontinent Tuesday or weekend. I’m there.
Act One Scene 2
In which Coach Pete bails…
Act One Scene 3
The 1974 movie ‘Airplane’... In which Lloyd Bridges playing Control Tower Commander states...
"I picked the wrong week to give up smoking cigarettes..."
"I picked the wrong week to give up sniffing glue..."
"I picked the wrong week to stop snorting crack..."
Myself to Skip one week before the Masters...
"I picked the wrong week to join the FRCF Soccer team..."
Act Two Scene 1
Race day, check. Right knee swollen and tight from playing soccer with athletic freaks, check. Other than daily WOD’s haven’t entered a competitive event since the wrong wax selection in a North Cascades 25k cross country ski race left me almost crippled and with a case of lasting soul bonk, check.
Act Two Scene 2
Setting:
Karen Dever’s Sign Shop, adjacent to FRCF. Early Saturday morning before the first WOD.
Players:
The FRCF masters competitors and family. John ‘Papa John’ Mathews, Mike ‘Mikey’ Pistono, Erik 'Casper' Lawrence, Chris ‘Dozer’ Dozois, Kadir Suleymanoglu, Jenn Huyer, Cori Gobel, Besty Tauer, Jane Quinn, Dan Andrews, Kurt Backes, Andrea 'Dre' Ellis, Scott Olson and honorary masters athlete Kristen 'KO"Olson.
I’m over in Karen Dever’s shop getting ready for my first heat, hanging out with the other FRCF masters and in walks Chris ‘Dozer’ Dozois. Turns out Dozer had his three brothers do WOD #1 last night as a research project.
Immediately I’m distracted by two disturbing thoughts; first, Dozer is doing research on workouts. And second, there are four Dozer brothers! My faith in the stability and ultimate balance of the universe is shaken.
Turns out that the Dozer brother (four of them!!) that went the slowest on the row had the fastest overall time for the workout. The assembled masters athletes decided the row is a sand trap laid out by Skip. Which is a bummer for me, as I had figured the high water mark of the weekend for me was going to be in blazing through 1000m, moon walking over to the wall balls and then proceed to come in dead last in everything the rest of the weekend. At least I would have a descent 1000m time, was the logic. Oh well, unknowable, unknown and all that. But four brothers, seriously? One Reggie White we can all understand, but four Dozers? Does that also mean that somewhere on the planet water is running uphill?
Act Two Scene 3
WOD #1. Athlete check in outside main competition space. I had just finished my attempt to warm up in the FRCF Weight Room. Walking over to Molly Miller’s athlete check-in tent I was struck by the beautiful weather, the complete lack of oxygen in Denver air, and how awesome it was to see all the people outside enjoying themselves from the end of tent city up by the Copper Kettle and all the way down to John’s Paleo Wagon. A truly beautiful sight.
Being picked up by a judge and taken into the competition space was a new experience for someone who has worked primarily to help run, host and write up local events. Being the one about to sweat was a different and exciting experience. Fortunately, whatever gear that needs to flip, flipped right on schedule and I was dialed in and ready to go as soon as I sat on the rower.
3-2-1-Go. “OK, here we go – quick start – 5 & 10 high – then right down to easy steady pace. Right down to a steady pace. Hello, legs, we said, easy pace... “
I got the cadence down to a steady pace, but the split time was still way faster than what the research firm of Dozer, Dozer, Dozer & Dozer recommended. In fact on any other Wednesday I’d love to have this split time, but right now all it is doing is foretelling a painful demise on the wall balls. Going slow on the rower is not a tool kit that is fully stocked for me. I have a young teenager’s lifetime spent in building up the exact opposite toolkit. So a couple minutes into my first CrossFit meet and I’m realizing I may have already met my Waterloo. I see the headline, ‘man dies in WOD because he doesn’t know how to downshift in a workout.’ I am breathing easy and trying not to pull hard and might still wind up with a sub-3:30, 1000m pace. So with 150m to go, I start phoning it in. I think I even stopped rowing and let the wheel spin down that last dozen meters. In a previous lifetime I might have been shot for such behavior.
Fortunately, I am not the first off the rower, so if I do die on the wall balls, I won’t look like an absolute moron. Walking over to wall ball, legs feel good, I’m considering writing a retainer check to the athletic research firm of Dozer^4.
Pick up the ball and go, 20 down. Breath and get 9. WHAT?!? My kindly judge explains I must stand up with the ball before starting the first rep. Maybe I should have read that somewhere. Breath, 11 more. Step back, breath, 10 more. Right about this point I realize my mistake. I picked up a wall ball right near an open garage door. I like the easy access to air that an open garage door provides, but I’m also becoming aware that Coach Pete and others are standing right in the open garage door. And of course Coach has decided he should spend ALL his energy shouting coaching advice at me.
You would think that his caliber of advise would be sophisticated like, “you are in third place by 7 wall balls, step it up”, or “toss it with the wrists at the top to save the legs”. But no, the sum total of Coach’s wall ball coaching advice? “PICK UP THE BALL”!!!! I just finished 50 wall balls and I step back to breathe, only to hear “PICK UP THE BALL!” Really? Is that what I’m supposed to do? Thanks so much, I’d have been at a total loss without that sublime direction. 10 more, breath, then 15 straight and I’m done.
Walking back to the rower I think there’s a guy on the machine ahead of me. But my vision’s not so good so I could be wrong. I sit down on the rower, I tell myself, “self, this is it, just pull the pin, roll the grenade under the door and see what happens.” Soon after my start, I’m thinking, just pull the pin. Word comes back from my legs that the pin has been pulled and that’s all there is. So I’m laying it all out on a 500m row and barely going as fast as when I was trying to go slow!!!! Curse you wall balls!!
Now getting off the rower and heading to the final element - pull ups. I’m reminded that I have a glandular disorder that causes me, when working out, to sweat like a crackhead in Louisiana. The Swede’s call the skin the third kidney, and espouse the health virtues of sweating in saunas. Well if that’s the case then my third kidney is worth two, cause I can wring a shirt out. I usually deal with this by doing pull-ups on a taped bar. Earlier today, Skip informed me that wasn’t an option. So walking up to the bar I stuffed my mitts into a chalk bucket and started to kip like a monkey. The only drawback to chalk is that when you are really sweating it turns into white mud with no grip help whatsoever. So I tried hopping along the bar at the top of the kip in order to find dry, gripable bar. It wasn’t pretty but I got 8, then 7, then 5, then 5, and then all the air I could drink. 1 workout down!
To be continued.....
